Please, stop that sh*t.
Check my latest post
The conspiracy club has reached 1000 views.
I never noticed the 5 & 1 in your name good sir. I am now convinced that you know more than you are letting on .
What's that? Another conspiracy theory?
Well as it happens I do have another tale to tell of a conspiracy theory.
Ahh I remember it well, it was the 1960's the swinging sixties if you will. 1969 to be exact, I remember I was excited for the entire year as it had the number 69 in the year, which, as we all know is the sexiest of all numbers.
But there I was at my country estate, enjoying one of my wilder parties at the time. I must elaborate on what I consider to be a wild party.
For a party to be truly wild the following must happen:
1. I vomit through both my nostrils and mouth at the same time.
2. I find myself awake in a random location in a state of undress.
3. I find a beautiful woman next to me in the exact same state of undress.
4. Someone dies.
Now the trick of this party lifestyle is not to vomit all over the young woman that you hope to wake up next to, and for her not to expire during the festivities.
But as always I digress.
I was wandering the fine Twatshire countryside, which in July is quite arid and dry. Some would say desolate and bleak, but I normally have those people deported from my fine county.
I was having a wonderful walk along when I was disturbed by a deafening roar from above. I looked up, expecting to see The Great Space Lizard or some awful alien invasion fleet, but instead, I saw a small vehicle descending from the heavens. I stood still and watched as this strange craft began to land, in my back yard!
I marched towards the craft, to ask them who in the blue hell they thought they were and if they did, in fact, know whose land they were on. But as I moved closer I saw the flag of America on the side of the craft and began to back away, I know how temperamental our American cousins can be. Also the fact that most of them are tooled up with some firearm or such.
I hid behind one of the dunes of arid grey sand and watched as a strange man emerged from the vehicle. It seemed that he was wearing some form of suit. It was white and had a helmet that seemed to cover his entire head. He then paused, as if relaying some important message to someone, then began to bounce across the land towards my house.
Well, I wasn't having any of this, I needed to take action, but I was still afraid that I would be shot. Normally as my regular readers will know, I have a shotgun on me. But this evening I had decided not to carry such a device.
I looked around and noticed a rock, I grasped the rock and began to carve a large letter "C" into the surface. I choose the letter "C" for "Can't you see that you have landed in my back garden and I am Concerned that you Could be hostile, also Clear my land!"
I nodded at myself, thinking that there could be no way that anyone could ever misinterpret that message. I then lobbed it at the strange man. Now, I'm no athlete, unless alcohol consumption has become one of the sports of the Olympic Games. If that was the case, dear Olympic COmmitee, you should start polishing up a gold medal right now.
But as I mentioned, my throw was weak and the rock landed near to the strange man, but offered no threat. I did notice that the strange man took a photographic image and I assumed that he would get the message.
He was bobbing about in the strangest of manners, almost as if the laws of physics did not apply to him. I suspected that he had springs in his shoes or some contraption that enabled him to jump like that. As I watched another man left the strange craft and went to join his friend. They both bobbed around happily in my back garden for a few hours,
After a while, they got back into their strange little craft and flew off into the air again. I was very confused.
They also left a lot of debris in my back garden, scientific equipment, an empty coke can and a flag. The flag was a little odd as it was held up with wire to give the impression that it was floating weightlessly. It looked like the remanants of a roadside picnic.
Well, that rubbish was binned and I went back to my house.
As I walked into my sitting room, I saw my imaginary butler sitting in front of our television set, tears streaming down his eyes.
He informed me that the Americans had landed on the moon. My heart skipped a beat? Really? On the moon? I've stared at that smug thing for years, dreaming of a way to get up there to wipe the self-satisfied expression of its face.
I ran to the television set, kicking my imaginary butler out of the way to see this technological marvel.
And there they were, bobbing around in my back garden on the television set. My garden!
I was outraged, thinking that these folks had landed in my garden and faked what should have been the most significant technological advances in history.
But then again, I remembered it was the 1960's and the poor chaps were possibly on so many drugs they may have mistaken Twatshire in England for the lunar surface.
I thought it was harsh, that in future generations people would say that this historic moment was staged and fake. I felt sorry for these poor chaps, history would never be cherished and thought of in the way it deserved.
But these poor chaps would be accused of being liars, blaggards and government stooges.
All these poor chaps had possibly done was take enough drugs to kill an elephant and then flown off in the wrong direction, landing in Twatshire.
I can't really hold that against the poor chaps, after all it was the 1960's and most people were constantly high or stoned off their pectoral muscles.
I know I was.
That was amazing. I've never seen anything like it.
Here's a good one.
This guy pops up on the forum and opens a thread about conspiracy theories no less. In said thread he mentions he's got some real gems, haven't seen one yet, but anyway that's another story.
The very next day he opens a thread about helping a homeless dude by gifting him an OPO, out of the kindness of his heart and also teaches him the basics of photo editing in his own home for a couple of days. Aforementioned homeless dude makes good, photographer, job, eternally grateful etc
Now a lot of folks find this slightly suspicious and call him out on it. Pics or it didn't happen, any proof, where can we see this dudes work or we just don't believe you. All quite normal reactions in my opinion. The poster takes all this doubt badly and insults all doubters but still doesn't provide any evidence of any type and coincidentally, is away from home and can't post anything in the way of proof, strange that, because if I'd done all the above there'd at least be a photo in google photos, but hey, that's me.
Now for the conspiracy theory.
Maybe all this was done to get likes and up his level, whatever that means, on the forum. Could this be a cunning plan to get points to use in raffles? Where are all the promised conspiracy theories? Do his attempts to bump his own thread mean something? Think about it
To be honest I found that hilarious, although, the story is real.
Maybe he really wants to win the new wallet in the raffle and give it to another homeless person.
Isn't Google photos linked to the cloud with ones Google account and not necessarily
Do you have a Geiger counter? Mine is in the shop.
Unfortunate use of words that.
Curiouser and curiouser
Tom Brady killed Aaron Hernandez.
I gave mine away to a homeless guy in the street, he now works for MI6, all very hush hush though, so I can't give you any more info I'm afraid. True story.
Do you work for the Railroad too?
Andy! You definitely didn't read the whole thread: photos are on his iPhone (iCloud?) and because he gave his OPO, no more access to his Google Photos account. Simple, isn't it?
I said I would post either a conspiracy theory or a story per day. I did a real life true story but it went very dramatic.
Indeed , I just found you a new display pic.
Week 208: We Brace For Winter, Give Gifts, and Don't Die
by Chris dB, 2017-12-08